I read these stories today.
They synchronously matched this Alan Watts lecture I had watched a few hours earlier.
Alan Watts often mentioned the inherent duality of all things – ‘there is no front without the back’ – ‘a wave must have a crest and a trough’ – “sensation is awareness of contrast” yin and yang – you know all this.
I don’t think choosing to love someone of the same sex, or simply being sexually attracted to your own sex creates misery (obviously assuming you are free to do so without harassment or guilt). What I do think is that if you do not socialize with the opposite sex, as equals, then you are not in balance.
A penis in a vagina doesn’t create balance but having common ground with the opposite gender does. Protecting children is a basic common ground concept of adults for example.
I am fortunate to work at an office job where there is pretty good mix of adults. I’m a man and not one of those who has a ‘work wife’ and I’m definitely not looking to find someone to have sex with – been there and done all that and have nothing to prove, but I do find it enjoyable just to have female friends to pass the day with.
My day job involves being the supervisor as in “let me speak to your supervisor”.
I have no problem with independent women. I much prefer a strong willed woman over a clingy dish-rag type but I also don’t judge a woman who says “I need to check with my husband” – that doesn’t sound indecisive – it sounds polite.
What I have found, from talking to people who have troubles enough to want to speak to a supervisor of a manufacturing company, is that the most miserable people are not the ones who cop an elitist attitude – fuck it, here’s your free shit – I don’t need to get fired over a pissing contest.
No, the most miserable people are the ones who demand that you acknowledge and justify their sense of entitlement. Some women just can’t understand that because they don’t own a set of tools and never learned or practiced basic home maintenance that they will need a friend or family member to help them or they must pay someone to do it!
It’s totally cool if you are a widow or divorced and your husband used to do all the handyman stuff – it’s just how the division of labor worked out in your household. Now, until you find someone else to take over those tasks again, your options are to learn to do it yourself or pay someone to do it. Crying that it’s not fair is pathetic – it’s not appropriate to get all emotional when talking to a stranger – that only works with your daddy and he ain’t me.
Men like all kinds of women in every possible way but it’s a safe bet to say that they don’t want the women they live with to be ‘perfect’ or look like a Playboy model – that’s way too much work and causes stress – be a human with me as I am one.
No relationship can last without balance. If one person puts the other on a pedestal then the other person will probably resent them for that.
If a woman wants to act like a man, that’s totally cool and if a woman wants to rely on her sex appeal then she should have the freedom to do so too – it doesn’t make the other women complicit. We can all co-exist as adults.
Be happy now, with what you have and who you are. There is nothing more attractive than happiness!
A little bit of sugar can go a long way!