Tag: Alan Watts

Meaning of Life – current philosophizations

Tree of life mural in progress by Daz Lartist Peoria 9 17 2018
Tree of life – mural in progress by Daz Lartist Peoria Illinois 9 17 2018

The Meaning of Life – current philosophizations!

This is just my interpretation of the reason why us humans exist. I do not believe we are monkeys who evolved or that we became humans by some chance confluence of events involving random atoms in space. I am also not a fundamentalist of any religious sect – I think all religions have a nugget of truth but are diluted with mumbo-jumbo bullshit and are mostly ran by people who are often corrupted by their own power.

So basically, the two official reasons (text book science and religion) that are taught to us from an early age in schools (over and over) and generally accepted by the majority of society as truth – I actually disagree with, but I can explain why I disagree with the mainstream education in somewhat clear language and can even use metaphors from within our shared culture. Luckily many people, a lot of them more intelligent and learned than I, have already done the research I needed to come to my conclusion of why we are humans who ask why!

A friend asked me to send them some YouTube video suggestions, as they, like many of us are finding that opening our minds to these alternate viewpoints of reality scratches an itch that other endeavors do not. There will be several videos that I think are worth watching posted at the end of the post with a couple of others mixed in.

So, why are we humans? Because this is the form the universe took when it decided to learn about itself. The universe is a consciousness with curiosity, humor and love as well as cruelty, selfishness and other imperfections – not a vast almost empty wasteland that only NASA and the Pope with his giant telescope know the secrets of. You cannot see yourself without a mirror to reflect your image back to you – you and I are the mirrors of the universe. The universe is playing us as children play with dolls.

We are all born as unique viewpoints of the universe in the guise of biological machines with physical and mental attributes. The time and the location of our birth (and perhaps of our conception) puts a unique template into us that I believe subtly influences everything we experience. As the same groups of stars revolve in a predictable cycle the combination of their energy affects us in different ways. Religions and text-book science dismiss astrology as being superstitious bullshit or something to be shunned but it was the driving force for much of the ancient world and thus worth considering as having some truth to it.

Our unique selves start with an astrological template and like a role playing game such as D&D you have strength, dexterity, charisma, wisdom, etc and they are all determined by a certain amount of ‘dice’ to be cast to get the number of the stat(istic). Some people get more ‘dice’ to roll than others to determine a particular stat and while it is unlikely that you will max out on all your stats – you do get to re-roll those dice during your lifetime.

By means of an example look at Arnold Schwartzenegger – he came close to getting the maximum score on his physical self with his dedication to body building. When he had achieved that goal he used a conscious effort to become a movie star and then an even more improbable career as a public servant. As a movie star he had less dice to throw to get that maximum potential than someone ‘born to act’ like Sean Connery but he re-rolled those dice until they were maxed out to become an acting legend anyway.

Arnold Schwarzenegger - artist!
Our fellow human being Arnold isn’t afraid to try things. We know his impressive legacy. Here he not only brings attention to the growing homelessness problem but life in general and all with a sense of humor. A lesser man wouldn’t have attempted this level of art!

Soul, spirit, divine consciousness –whatever you want to call it is what the physical and mental self resides within (even though it might feel like it must be located within the body). You are not only the character in the game – you are the one who created the game and then decided it would be fun to forget you set the game up in the first place. This is why weird unexplained stuff happens that we label paranormal: we don’t really want all the mysteries explained as life would have a less magical feeling and the idea of luck wouldn’t be so enjoyable when you experience it (but – spoiler alert! it’s all you – you, the divine consciousness, set up the circumstances so that you, the person, would get the maximum experience from them – good and bad are just your interpretation of those circumstances so trust that there is a reason for them).

Knowing all the ‘truth’ about reality is not necessary to ‘winning’ the game – only participating in the game is required to ‘win’. Although you have the free will to stop playing – that shouldn’t be the choice you make unless it is the ultimate act of being ‘you‘. For example if you were born under the stars that made you naturally brave and heroic and one day there came a choice where you had to risk death to save a group of innocent people – it would never be wrong to rush straight in to save them because that is who you are – and if you died there is no failure as you were being you.

RISING SUN, Sean Connery, Wesley Snipes, 1993.
Sean Connery is himself regardless of the role he plays!

The purpose of life is simply to find out who you are and be that as the universe wants your unique viewpoint on the consensus reality. You win by being you – there are no goals beyond unlocking the puzzle of yourself. How come you are not already you? Well, where’s the challenge in that right? 🙂 How you play the game is up to you but it is a game and this reality isn’t any more real than a dream – it just feels real compared to a dream.

How real is “real” anyway when you lose yourself in a movie or a book – you know it’s fiction but your brain is experiencing the interpretation of the fiction as (temporary) realityyou can’t appreciate the art of narrative fiction without interpreting it as ‘real’ – it’s why the human brain is the way it is – it’s designed to make you live simultaneously in multiple personas – not as some kind of flawed control mechanism that teeters on the verge of schizophrenia when the imagination is stimulated – no! You multi-task who you are – it’s designed to let you experience other facets of yourself – and in a nutshell, it’s just more fun this way!

Joe vs the Volcano
Ossie Davis (as Marshall) imparts the only wisdom that matters – only you can define who you are.

You are already perfect – deal with it. Maybe you aren’t the hero type or a glamorous movie star but we are all perfectly equal in that our individual honest opinions of what we experience matters – and that is all that matters. Whatever circumstance happens you just have to interpret it with your feelings and make conscious choices to steer things the way you want them to go. Right and wrong are just interpretations not absolutes.

There is no pressure to reach some type of goal – all that type of stuff puts you outside of the now moment – and there IS only now. The now is flavored by what your brain is thinking but the past doesn’t exist and the future doesn’t exist they are just abstract concepts that influence your now moment.

Why carry baggage around from somewhere that doesn’t exist – if you have feelings of shame then acknowledge what caused that to happen and don’t do it again and if you prefer a different circumstance then work towards it – but don’t stop being you in the now as some kind of punishment or sacrifice for you in the then.

You have a ‘shadow self‘ – deal with it. Find out what lurks in your dark side and accept it. We have an imagination to be used as a tool to allow our dark sides to be explored without jeopardizing our safety or freedoms. No need to feel guilty about it just don’t let your shadow self overcome your conscious self or you could lose track of who you really are.

The key is balance. We have a great reminder of balance in our lives – the sun and the moon, night and day, sleep and awake etc. Those less than admirable thoughts and feelings you have are just the balance for your amazing main self but you have to have a shadow just as you have to sleep at some point or you will go insane.

The sun casts more light than the moon does just as your shadow self casts less influence on your actions than your main self – but there are cycles of influence and you are more susceptible to the influence of your shadow self at certain times such as drinking alcohol, being in a war situation or even being the subject of public attention.

Anyway, here are some videos I find fascinating – not exactly the same topic as what I was talking about above – but on my journey to find out who I am I have found that unravelling the mysteries is part of who I am (and probably you too)!

This one is slow to start but keep with it! This video gives evidence that sedimentary rock may NOT be millions of years old after all! Coal may NOT be millions of years old etc. ‘Rock cut temples’ may actually be stone structures covered with rock deposited from volcanos that ancient civilizations then excavated – fascinating!

Sadly, it’s no coincidence that the fact that space as shown by NASA that looks the same as Star Trek TV shows – it’s all CGI. Even the math used to describe our relationship to other objects we can see in the sky is not as accurate as you might want to believe.

 

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Women are more miserable than men??

I read these stories today.

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-08-02/american-women-have-never-been-more-miserable-relative-men

and

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1168182/Catfights-handbags-tears-toilets-When-producer-launched-women-TV-company-thought-shed-kissed-goodbye-conflict-.html

They synchronously matched this Alan Watts lecture I had watched a few hours earlier.

Alan Watts often mentioned the inherent duality of all things – ‘there is no front without the back’ – ‘a wave must have a crest and a trough’ – “sensation is awareness of contrast” yin and yang – you know all this.

I don’t think choosing to love someone of the same sex, or simply being sexually attracted to your own sex creates misery (obviously assuming you are free to do so without harassment or guilt). What I do think is that if you do not socialize with the opposite sex, as equals, then you are not in balance.

A penis in a vagina doesn’t create balance but having common ground with the opposite gender does. Protecting children is a basic common ground concept of adults for example.

I am fortunate to work at an office job where there is pretty good mix of adults. I’m a man and not one of those who has a ‘work wife’ and I’m definitely not looking to find someone to have sex with – been there and done all that and have nothing to prove, but I do find it enjoyable just to have female friends to pass the day with.

My day job involves being the supervisor as in “let me speak to your supervisor”.

I have no problem with independent women. I much prefer a strong willed woman over a clingy dish-rag type but I also don’t judge a woman who says “I need to check with my husband” – that doesn’t sound indecisive – it sounds polite.

What I have found, from talking to people who have troubles enough to want to speak to a supervisor of a manufacturing company,  is that the most miserable people are not the ones who cop an elitist attitude – fuck it, here’s your free shit – I don’t need to get fired over a pissing contest.

No, the most miserable people are the ones who demand that you acknowledge and justify their sense of entitlement. Some women just can’t understand that because they don’t own a set of tools and never learned or practiced basic home maintenance that they will need a friend or family member to help them or they must pay someone to do it!

It’s totally cool if you are a widow or divorced and your husband used to do all the handyman stuff – it’s just how the division of labor worked out in your household. Now, until you find someone else to take over those tasks again, your options are to learn to do it yourself or pay someone to do it. Crying that it’s not fair is pathetic – it’s not appropriate to get all emotional when talking to a stranger – that only works with your daddy and he ain’t me.

Men like all kinds of women in every possible way but it’s a safe bet to say that they don’t want the women they live with to be ‘perfect’ or look like a Playboy model – that’s way too much work and causes stress – be a human with me as I am one.

No relationship can last without balance. If one person puts the other on a pedestal then the other person will probably resent them for that.

If a woman wants to act like a man, that’s totally cool and if a woman wants to rely on her sex appeal then she should have the freedom to do so too –  it doesn’t make the other women complicit. We can all co-exist as adults.

Be happy now, with what you have and who you are. There is nothing more attractive than happiness!

A little bit of sugar can go a long way!

Chocolate motivational poster by Daz Lartist
Chocolate motivational poster by Daz Lartist

 

 

 

Choose one – random mutation or divine being – not choosing is unhealthy for your mind

Animals play by Daz Lartist
Animals play by Daz Lartist

Science (mainstream text book teaching) vs Spiritual – which one do you really believe when it comes to describing who you really are and why you are alive on Earth now?

Many people just think they believe both simultaneously in a wishy-washy grey area of non-committal, after all, modern culture has made this Orwellian doublethink almost de riguer.

faith not quite as effective as bullet-proof glass

Even the spokesmodels for the epitome of ‘the triumph of science’ aka ‘astronauts who walked on the moon’ were mostly all members of masonic lodges and freemasons require a belief in a ‘Supreme Being’ for members!

Freemasonry strongly encourages its members to belong to an established religion, although that is not a requirement for membership (only that a candidate profess a belief in a Supreme Being). (from here)

I am not espousing any ‘conspiracy theories’ on this blog post as I wrote all my feelings on that idea on this other blog post (if you want to go down that rabbit hole with me).

I do want to use this dichotomy of fundamental ideas to help us clarify what we actually do believe – as you can’t simultaneously be ‘a random mutation in an infinite and expanding universe that evolved a consciousness’ and a ‘divinely created soul’ at the same time! Pick one!

 Consciously knowing what you believe is the foundation of sanity! You don’t automatically believe that an advertisement for a new product is actually going to live up to the hype do you? You hope that new chicken sandwich is the best thing ever and you might just go out and buy one but you don’t instantly and automatically believe the sales pitch verbatim – that would be crazy!

So which mutually exclusive choice do you actually believe? Not deciding means you are not sane and believing in both is unhealthy – it’s called cognitive dissonance.

In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. From Wikipedia

Choice one: Text book science  https://science.nasa.gov/solar-system/big-questions/how-did-life-begin-and-evolve-earth-and-has-it-evolved-elsewhere-solar-system

Choice two: Created purposefully by a consciousness the full extent of which is probably beyond human understanding.

Pick one and stick with it until you want to pick the other. I am not judging you for your choice but if you cannot make a choice in what you believe then you are not sane. If you are not sane then I would advise you to get help asap!

You can change your mind in what you believe as new information is processed. That is totally cool and your right as a sane individual. Go from Saul to Paul if you wish!

Conversion on the way to Damascus by Caravaggio
Conversion on the way to Damascus by Caravaggio

I respect all decisions that are made with conscious intent. Being ‘wrong’ is perfectly fine as long as you own the ‘mistake’ as your choice. I then decide if I like your decisions and act accordingly – I judge the decisions but not the person who consciously made them (dig me here)?

I know people (one friend in particular comes to mind) who feel troubled by this world as it is presented on the screens they spend most of their time in front of. Outside of the screen they frolic in nature, appreciating the seasons, joyfully growing organic things and cooking with a real pleasure in the experience but then they read the news and are disgusted at the nature of mankind as if we are all fatally flawed and doomed.

Religion is part of the problem to people like that (not hard to see why young people are not joining the old religions anymore) and other spiritual things like channeling just seem nonsensical when there are science celebrities like Neil deGrass Tyson and Bill Nye to be the ‘voice of reason’ in this world of the nightly news horror show.

But if you aren’t happy with the set of beliefs you hold is that healthy or ultimately worth it? Would you want to die feeling relief that you finally escaped the cruel responsibility of ‘destroying the planet’ – one less ‘useless eater’ who hurt nature by being alive?

Your body and even your mind will deteriorate. Your lusts and joys will mature as you move beyond child rearing age. You ultimately won’t change the Earth beyond moving stuff from one area to another. But you don’t have to believe anything that you don’t want to, if only in the privacy of your mind.

You probably thought you were in love at some point growing up and then realized you were just horny. When you (hopefully) discovered the other facets of love that ultimately mean more than just the biological squishy bits you have a better understanding of the concept of love in general and can find a partner who makes you happy with confidence in their reciprocal feelings.

You don’t need to burn your Sha Na Na records and romance novels or be embarrassed of your tight-panted favorite Bay City Roller crush – no, that love is still valid! The child you were is still within you and can peek out when appropriate (singing in the shower perhaps)! Where this is going is that your beliefs are always valid if you believe them to be real.

I’m sure your crush on Ian number 2 of the tartan encrusted rockers from Edinburgh in the 1970s was totally a real thing – because you believed it was real! The belief that it was real then gave you the effect of it being real and Ian number 2 knew it and felt a little twinge of pain in his heart when you moved on to a real person– with a little practice in the ways of love to work with!

If you are not happy with the text book science version of how humans became to be and are disenchanted with religions you do still have the choice to believe in a higher power without being ‘wrong’. You can always change your mind but if it gives you some relief and starts you on an interesting journey then it is totally a sane thing to do. Just decide.

Seth channeled through Jane Roberts quote session 936
Seth channeled through Jane Roberts quote I found on Facebook and found quite profound!

Seth, Elan, Bashar, Ra, Kyron, Q’uo, Hattan etc are all wisdom and philosophy providers that have helped me to find a belief system that makes me happy regardless of what happens in the world or in my personal circumstances. Stuff that happens can frustrate me and I reserve the right to rage but I don’t feel that mankind is a mistake or a virus or any of that negative crap that mainstream science supports. Quite the contrary, we are all important and every person has a valid point of view.

Bashar 5 laws
5 laws according to Bashar as channeled by Daryl Anka. I did not make this graphic – I borrowed it off the internet!!

Alan Watts is my go-to listening these days which sounds funny considering that he died Nov 16, 1973 but his philosophy still inspires – a lot of us. Thanks to endless hours of entertaining and uplifting lectures on YouTube etc a whole new generation is listening to him.

 

 

How to paint – without stress of failure

Critterz - spontanious painting - oil on cardboard - Daz Lartist
Critterz – spontanious painting – oil on cardboard – Daz Lartist

If you do not want to read all this then you can listen on the youtube video I made (of me narrating this post)!

I’ve found that painting/writing with just the barest idea of what I want to manifest on the canvas/page allows for the most satisfying process and results. I do not like stress.

People often ask me to draw or paint them something and if it’s something I enjoy (and would draw or paint anyway) I don’t mind as long as they have no expectations, however, people also say “would you copy this photograph of this loved one so I could frame it and have a nice gift – I can pay you of course” to which I politely say NO (go pay a professional portraitist 10 times more- you’ll be much happier regardless of how good an artist I might be).

I do not ask my friend who is good with cars ‘you are an awesome shade-tree mechanic – it would mean much more to me to have you change the oil in my car than the garage down the street – I can pay you of course (the going price is about what I make an hour at my office job)’. I do not ask my friend who brings great cookies into work to ‘make me some of those awesome pumpkin bars – I’ll pay you (the couple of bucks I can buy similar items for in the gourmet section of the bakery on fancy-pants people street)’ – so why ask me to do something that I’m good at for you?

DO you even know what I like to paint or do you think that you are being friendly by acknowledging my identity as an artist and are playing your identity as a patron? I don’t care for the idea that my identity is subordinate to yours, no offense. God is a creator and that is a pretty good role model; I have a day job and I don’t care if I am subordinate to all the whinging clients and bosses – that isn’t my identity! My identity is how I have chosen with my free will to explore this life and you cannot change that!!

The Hound from Game of Thrones telling you to quit whinging!
The Hound from Game of Thrones telling you to quit whinging! I borrowed the pic from here.

Another statement, meant honestly but perceived less than politely that I have heard many times is “you could sell that” – to which I typically respond internally (depending on who said it) with a comment such as “you could sell those tits at the strip club” or  “you could sell your wife for a penny a go in the park after midnight“. You can’t buy my creativity with just a bunch of numbers in an account! I allow you to gift me large sums of sweet abundance according to your talents and means should you desire the fruits of my labor but it’s a case by case basis – my consciousness must be involved in the transaction!

Being forced (if only by your own expectations) to do a particular creative project that you have envisioned (exactly as you envisioned it) typically results in stress, writers block etc etc at least for me – my mind wanders as does my brush and unless the sum of bank notes offered for consideration will allow me more time to be an artist (aka dump my day job) then it’s just chump change.

As Alan Watts (the great 20th century bridge between Eastern and Western philosophies) said (in the entertaining and educational video below) and I paraphrase here ‘a lot of people think that the spontaneous -or completely natural life – is to act according to whim (but Zen is more like being ready for anything )‘. Bashar, another great speaker who’s mouth lives in the magical land of California, also states that being spontaneous is the key – as when you aren’t getting in your own way by ‘thinking’ then synchronicity (literally) opens the path up – if you aren’t expecting the path to look differently then you are open to see it when it appears – all you have to do is consciously choose to follow that path once it appears.

Most pain comes from unfulfilled expectations as Bashar stated – people regularly assume that the solution to a problem must come in a particular way (the way the brain has settled on as the ‘right’ way) but as we all know and experience often – there are often many paths to an effective and satisfying solution – just allow yourself to be open to more than just one of the possible solutions.

I do not claim to know the totality of the wisdom of Bashar and I am not even close to understanding the ways of Zen but I can tell you that I do not have stress when I paint and I am often delighted at the results of my spontaneity.

Many artists feel that they cannot gauge their worth without patronage. They will even throw their creative process out the window to mechanically mass produce work when given a gallery show with space to fill. Is it worth being in that rat race? How many thousands of dollars can you make from your local yearly or semi-annual ‘one man show’ to make a living on par with an office job?

When it comes to being an artist – I’ve been there and done that and yes, I know all about the ghettos that art websites almost immediately became on the internet when people realized they could make a few bucks there too. This is why many artists are ‘housewives’ (no offense intended with that word – if you have a wealthy and kind enough spouse so that you can make your art career without stress then you are winning in the best possible way).

Money for your work should always be a sprinkle on the icing on the cake – not the reason for making the cake – or you will be fighting for scraps (no offense intended). The crappy mainstream media has reduced fine art to how much it is worth in terms of money – or, if it is so famous, it can be labeled ‘priceless’ which means someone like me, a regular person with no silver spoon, would have to pay someone to see it. Of course something can be ‘priceless’ and still be put up for sale.

albertpinkhamryderfarmyard
“it was property formerly in the collection of…” If A.P.Ryder was so “mystical” why are you treating this like a used car? This artist is in the art history text books!!!! At least the comic strip Apt.3G gave A.P.Ryder a mystical tribute and the “Fifty Two Pieces” blog post about that (linked here) from 2009 explains that brilliantly!!

It’s insulting to me to just rank artists as a whole especially by the amount of money that some rich people (whom I label as a whole here ironically for purposes of illustration) have paid for those artists work (mostly because of some arbitrary investment potential that was often contrary to the spirit of the artist). Artists themselves, decades ago, understood the insanity of it all but even canning your feces like Piero Manzoni did results in ‘art’ that rich people buy  (instead of helping that homeless veteran or family etc). Who wants the shit-buyer crowd to be your patron anyway?

The allure of fame and fortune, even with its lottery winning odds of occurring is often what takes that child who is naturally creative to become an adult with the identity as an artist. All adult artists have to make a contract with their ego mind that tells them – is it worth it – will I starve and not be able to get laid and/or be loved? Being independently wealthy off your own work is the intellectually saner goal that many artists aspire to but often results in settling down to your art being a second day job where you schlock your wares like a fishmonger in the market – nothing wrong with that but it’s a job and who needs another one of those – talk about stress!

It’s stressful to build an identity as an artist – people are multi-faceted and typically members of a society that requires certain standards and conduct. Luckily we can dress like good old Vincent and be splattered in paint like Michelangelo and not draw attention these days but we cannot just choose to be like Paul Gauguin anymore – sure you can live and paint in Tahiti but you can’t fight the system to forge a new type of art and philosophy with oil paints any more.

You also don’t have to suffer to be a great artist by rejecting society or feeling that you will be selling out if you have a day job – just make your identity as an artist be one of your many facets – a favorite hat to wear when you get the chance. Just don’t be wishy-washy about it – have a passion for your beliefs! No whinging in art – it’s arbitrary! Just paint over it if you don’t like it and don’t set yourself up to fail – it’s not a race to be great!

In some ways, like Terrence Mckenna alluded to, history is running out (at least in terms of oil painting). We’ve mastered the realistic (500 years ago!!). We’ve mastered the emotional and sensual feeling from color field non-objective work (think you can do better than Rothko? – maybe, but you will always live in his shadow). We’ve mastered the surreal, the psychedelic, the erotic, the folky, the charming, etc etc – you name it and many many people can pull their veiny throbbing art meat out and it will be bigger than yours.

For oil painting this is the final chapter in the art history book- ‘having done every possible thing with oil paints on millions of canvases, walls and object d’art- artists finally settled into the realization that like explorers of old, someone had already been there’. Someone has probably already written on this theme before too haha!

Can you do better in your chosen style than the acknowledged masters? YES! For example in a way that (only by pure synchronicity or SEO) will any one of my readers understand – Mean Jeans write better Ramones songs than the Ramones (yes I know that is practically sacrilegious haha)!

My favorite Ramones style song was written by Bil Mcrackin of the Mcrackins. I am weird, oh yes, but why am I STILL (almost a decade later after I wrote my original blog post about it) the only person on the Earth who raves about the track “Belly Jean” (that apparently was only released on Coldfront Records “Music To Listen To Music By” sampler CD). It is still the only song in the world (I’ve searched for) that hasn’t made it onto Youtube (and I like some obscure punk rock stuff trust me!)

music-to-listen-to-music-by-belly-jeans-mcrackins
Music to listen to music by CD – long ago vanished unfortunately

“Shared my secret with a few of my friends, should have kept quiet cos they’re laughing again” Belly Jean by McRackins

In 2007-8 I did a Google search for “Belly jean” mcrackins and found two measly hits, one was the Amazon site for the CD that has Belly Jean by McRackins, Music To Listen To Music By (there was a sample of the song on Amazon back then but now it’s completely vanished). The other hit was my old art blog – trust me, this bothers me way more than being a flat Earth believer.

Belly Jean Mcrackins search 2007-8
Belly Jean Mcrackins search 2007-8

I had even written Bil McRackin, the guy/egg who wrote the song, and even he didn’t consider it a hit single, he remembered writing it and quoted the lyrics, and while he had a sense of pride about it he considered it ‘a rarity that didn’t make the cut for one of their regular albums but it might be included in a rarities CD one day‘.

“My Belly Jean she means the world to me, my Belly Jean if you could only see, could I be that lucky guy, you can’t say I never tried” Belly Jean by McRackins

I loved this song the moment I heard it, it has all the elements of a perfect pop-punk song including the 5 second guitar solo and catchy chorus, even la-la-las! Now it seems like a miracle I ever found the MP3 in the first place; I downloaded the MP3 randomly from Napster (back before it was illegal to do so).

“a ten pin bowling ball, she threw a strike like it was nothing at all..” Belly Jean by McRackins

Do you ever get that feeling that the world makes things just for you? Words cant really describe how grateful I am for this song, even if I am literally STILL the only person who has cared enough to write about it on the internet.

~have fun my friends! I love you all! Daz Lartist~